3 Terrible Things To Say In Hard Times

Before my oldest was born, my wife and I walked through three miscarriages. That was one of the most challenging and painful things to experience. I will never fully understand why God gave us those kids and then let them die.

But that season was incredibly formative. For my marriage. For my parenting. For my theology. Even for my pastoring.

One of the things I learned was that the world’s worst theology surfaces in life’s hardest situations. There’s nothing like pain and tragedy to push terrible theology to the surface, so let’s take a second and look at three terrible things to say in hard times.

“It all happens for a reason.”

I can’t think of a more insensitive thing to tell someone as they’re grieving or going through tragedy. It communcates as empty, and very quickly suggests, “You should be over it, look at the bright side.”

Grieving is important. Questions aren’t bad.

And…what if it didn’t? This gets into a theological nuance and a discussion that doesn’t necessarily happen best in a short blog format, but what if it didn’t happen for a reason?

“Romans 8:28 says it did!” No, it doesn’t. In Romans 8:28, Paul is reminding the church in Rome that God can take any circumstance and redeem it in a way…